I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can’t paper do this to scissors? Ya’ know what, forget scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh my bad, I’m sorry I thought paper would protect you…

First name: Waldo.
Last name: Unknown.
Waldo was first seen in the UK under the alias of Wally in 1987. He has since been seen in 28 countries, and speaks up to 15 languages.
James Bond? He’s got nothing on “Waldo”. The man is so elusive that there has been an identifying question permanently added to his name. You guys think I’m shady? At least my name isn’t “Where’s David”.

First name: Carmen.
Last name: Sandiego
Carmen was first seen in 1986 after going rogue from her position as an A.C.M.E agent only to surface as the ring leader of the infamous organization V.I.L.E.
She’s been known to gallivant around London, the USA, Japan, and even space!!!
Again, the woman has been given a false first name of “where”. What is it with these people? Here are some things that people have said about Carmen:
All I’m saying is this woman is more slippery then a slip-n’-slide circa 1961.
I’ve done extensive research, and after using the most up to date technology we have available today, I’ve been able to come up with (what I believe to be) a fairly accurate image of what “Where Carmen Waldo Sandiego Jr.” would look like:
The kid has got to be freakin invisible! I mean c’mon, a spawn of two people so utterly shady and elusive? They would never catch this kid, EVER!
A proposal if you will:
There are two potential terms to take.
1)You are granted $500,000,000 in a single tax free lump sum. You are free to do with this money anything you please. The caveat is that if you accept this money will not live past your 55th birthday. This is not to say that you will live to 55, but you will not live longer than 55. Life will take it’s course, and you might get hit by a car tomorrow (ironic?).
2) You get no payout. You are however, told that you will live no longer than 85 years. The same caveat applies; this does not mean that you will live to be 85, but you might.
Now the inherent question here that needs to be answered is: “How much is your time worth?”. This of course goes beyond the standard “Hey, what does it cost to get you to do something for me for an hour?” This goes beyond that, because I think most people can justify an hour of their time one way or the other. This is to say, that the person willing to accept the terms of the first instance is potentially willing to gamble 30 years of their life for a sum of $500,000,000.
Keep in mind, that the first instance will be free of the “rat race”, and your remaining year would be spent pursuing pure pleasure and happiness. However, in the second case while you are working a standard 8 hours a day, you have 30 more years of life to live. Things to see. People to meet. Experiences to experience.
What would you do?
David Falkowitz.
© Copyright 2011